He'd have been fine in the rubber suit if he hadn't pissed himself…

Where the fuck is One Crazy Summer?!

Roadhouse.
Next of Kin.
Uncommon Valor.
Red Dawn THE FUCKING GOOD ONE!
The Outsiders.
I'm out after that.

I think you dropped this.
[hands Ancient Shenanigan's septum back to him]

"This Movie Won't Just Scare You: It Will Fuck You Up For Life!"

Krusty: "What the hell was that?"

Someone needs to ask the question, so it might as well be me.
Why wasn't R. Kelly cast in The Wiz?

I got the DDs, but I said Montenegro for FJ. I haven't been watching the Balkans closely, which is always a mistake.

"Rrribit."

I'm sorry, I lose all sense of proportion sometimes. I guess I've been bottling that up a little too long.

GIT OUTTA MAH OFFICE! [O'Neal hurls scotch bottle at Cappadocius' head]

I think "appalled" is the word you're looking for.

He is also very dull.

I don't watch Jennifer Aniston movies.

And it won't fucking change anything…

[He doesn't actually need the bell]

"Hello, my Baby, Hello, my Honey, Hello, my Rag-Time Gal!
Send me your love by wire! Baby, my heart's on fire!"

So: fairly close to the actual book's protagonist.

$5 Re-Entry Fee. Because fuck you, that's why! It's not a dialysis machine or life support, you gnat's-attention-span-having, mouth-breathing fucks! Try having some unexpressed thoughts! Yours aren't worth a shit, anyway, morons!
I'm going to stop commenting on this because it's unleashing pent-up ranting rage that I…

Or you could stay the fuck home if you're that anxious. You chose to have kids.