Jesus rides beside me.
He never buys any smokes.

Heaven Is Totes For Realz, for the tween in your life who should probably be gassed or at least sterilized.

It's All About Rampant Testing Fraud Children!

"Welcome To South Carolina. If You Can Read This You're Probably Not From Here"

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Those people are called publicists and you have to pay them.

HA-YEAH!

Die, Heroes Reborn, Die! MWAHAHAHA! ;-)

Let Me Go On, Like A Blister With A Gong…

Anderson Cooper is dickish, generally. If he was as clever as he is pretty he might be dangerous.

That's an irresponsible amount of college football!

Happy Birthday, you Emancipation Equivocationing Bastard! Don't heckle any actors! ;-)

This Damien clearly wasn't The Omen Damien. If this is the best the Anti-Christ can do, he's fucked worse than the GOP.

And you're Canadian, but we're usually polite enough not to mention it. [sniffs haughtily]

You can't not do that if you're of a certain age. And that's the way, uh-uh, I like it, uh-uh!

No. Those are clearly assholes.

I still remember the celebrity charity episode when Greg Proops silenced Henry Rollins and wiped the floor with Mo Rocca, all the while taunting Stein for his right-wing assholery. It was a fucking joy to watch.

Don't you mean the younger prick on Win Ben Stein's Money?

Rough week?

I got mauled by Cuddlebastard! "Wonders of nature" my ass! Well, my remaining buttock.