That's the thing. The fucker is ALSO genuinely funny, self-deprecating, intelligent and extremely likable. Plus his political beliefs are spot-on. It's not fair!

RobOs needs to lay off the Viagra.

It's not Justice. It's Just Him.

Also a huge biography reader, particularly in my twenties. We're all flawed and damaged to a greater of lesser extent, but we're not all talented. That sparks envy. My statement was cheap and glib.

Forget it, Jake. It's Shelbyville.

Talented assholes are still assholes.

I'm sorry. It's "Everything's", isn't it? All I remember is that involves Heavy Mermellation.

"Now, were you here To Till The Soil? Or were you just Playin' In The Garden?"
"Playin' In The Garden, Ma'am. Sorry!"

"PAINT THE LIGHT, THOMAS!"
[Goes to pay Inland Revenue]

"Things Will Be Coming Up Roses…"
[sedative takes effect]

Something on NBC won't suck! We'll have the story at eleven.

Fuck, that is alarming. Conspiracy theory is something the ignorant substitute for knowledge.

The actual history is often far weirder than people assume.

I was trained as an historian. The first thing I want to do is blow the Fairy Dust off of things. It's a professional deformation.

As Sir Terry Pratchett said, "It was written in Old, from before they'd invented spelling."

I ain't got no beef with that.

Oh, that's a stumper! I'd say us, because we're not getting paid.

They are both alike in awfulness. But GOOP!

[Shudders] NOSEHAIR MOUSTACHE! Why did you have to bring him up? I'm not sleeping tonight…

Up his ass.