Ah, you took the Someone Important's Nephew Bonus! Clever.

Chess?! NNNEEERRRDDD! ;-)

[INT 6] Disadvantage.

Make a Persuasion check.

Schwanz-Bluecher!
[horses whinny]

They come out at night, mostly. Mostly.

Sentient and Autonomous Dicks. Shaquille O'Neil's used to post here!

Most (non-sentient) animals are True Neutral. Neutral Evil means you're a calculating, cunning, manipulative bastard entirely out for your own gain. A Jeremy Irons or Alan Rickman villain, essentially.

Watch The Gangs of New York. It has all of the Paddy-Whacking you'll ever need.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU! YOU MUST BE A FUCKING HACK!

Old Sperm Kid. You can always spot them! He's probably allergic to moonlight and a bunch of other silly shit.

"Fruity" is a hateful word in this day and age, Guy. They are GAY Hawaiian drinks, like the Greg Louganis, and proud of it!

This must be a disturbing new experience for you! Don't worry, I'll talk you through it.

No. No you are not.

Fucking "Kip?" Really? Unless you are British and fond of napping, I'm watching you. I won't even go into the Winger sidebar at this point. Welcome to the A. V. Club. ;-)

So very old-fashioned English. She paused and half-swallowed the word while lowering her volume, yet was still very keen on the details. It was adorable. ;-)

Like "Saskatchewan."
[Wait, this is going to be fucking hilarious, especially the part where I die!]

My Retirement Plan. It worked for Voltaire.

"Finally! One of you is not completely useless!"

In Milwaukee, it was known as the Chuck Cunningham Grill. It was never seen nor heard from again.