Anyone who doubts Dolph Lundgen's awesomeness clearly has never seen this:

No no no, the other one!

I love that Jacob & MIB were just normal men, originally. I love that the Island Protector is not a role that originated with Jacob, but that others have held and passed on before. Hell, I love that even way back when, there were Hostiles.

Overall I agree, on both the unevenness of the episode and the way it did add depth to the conflict between Jacob and Smokey. The story I dug, but the child actors were, well, child actors. The episode picked up a lot of steam once they grew up.

RUMPELSTILTSKIN!

I'm now undecided on if Smokey IS MIB or not. Maybe the Monster is a separate entity, that takes over not just the form of its host, like MIB or Locke, but also takes on their — not personalities, that doesn't quite get the whole idea across — maybe it takes on their whole "selves"? So in that case, the Monster has…

Silence! Destroy him!

Babies start out as parasites, then they grow into people that want to replace you.

And his chin is quite square!

Enter the Dragon?

I'm just going to assume that, while tapping Janeane Garofolo, he was singing "It's Garry Shandling's Show."

Keith David FTW! "I know it's pretty, but I didn't bring it out for air."

Good luck & congrats on the awesome new job!

He's never making it to Guam, is he.

Smokey can only kill the candidates if he gets wet, and/or if they eat after midnight.

MESSAGE!

Bitches leave.

Really, everyone dies alone.

The bright lipstick added an extra half-grade for me, too.

Wasn't that proven with Dick Tracy?