Alcing Functionholic

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4/30/10

Shore Patrol — as long as he doesn't go to sleep, isn't much they can do. Giuliani was only able to outlaw homelessness, not ugly.

4/30/10

Anna Kendrick as Catwoman! And me as Batman!

4/29/10

4/29/10

Hey hey hey hey hey
Why did Benford spit gasoline?

4/28/10

I AM THE ONLY ONE WHOSE EXISTENCE I CAN BE SURE OF BUT EVEN THEN I HAVE MY DOUBTS.

4/28/10

Zing!

4/28/10

When they join together, they become GUNN MANN!

4/28/10

Perhaps it's a spinoff of Full Metal Jacket, where the black dude from the platoon gets magical powers?

4/28/10

It's actually a re-imagining of The Hustler!

4/28/10

Reply hazy, ask again.

4/28/10

What's the rumpus?

4/28/10

You MAKE time, Kor.

4/28/10

Ya know, "Evil Mr. Egg" sounds like the kind of thing Gary Coleman would mutter while being hauled off to jail.

4/28/10

Darryl & Creed spinoff!!!

4/28/10

You're confusing hussies with hussars. Not a good mistake to make.

4/26/10

I love love love this column. Keep it up, whooo!!!!

4/26/10

GENTLEMEN!

4/26/10

When you gaze into the Snooki ….
… the Snooki also gazes into you.

4/26/10

I'm not sure that I do … you talking about titties, or self-vivisection?

4/26/10

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