Wait, I've just been assuming that most internet commenters were Amish on rumspringa … was that incorrect?

Yes! Morgan Freeman was in that one!

Steve….

Sharko!

This is only… a recording!

Oh freegans … won't you ever realize, it doesn't matter what kind of new words you try to make up, you're still just a bunch of garbage-pickers.

He does it for us, ScubaDew! For us!

Because she was blind.

(in the background, out of focus, Robert Ridgeley cracks up)

They spent so much time CG'ing the German mountains into the background, they never stopped to think no one cared.

Nope.

Serving boys, Tom? Thought if you put Elizabeth Mitchell at the end there, we wouldn't notice the serving boys, did you?

Until I see these pictures, there's no way of knowing they're real.

He's not a dick on purpose, he's just really bad at returning phone calls. Next time he sees you he'll be way apologetic.

One N. Shenanigans.

Do you have sex with your bathers?

Not really. Sub in "The Wire" or "Battlestar Galactica" for any of the team names, it's basically the same conversation as always.

In case of raptors? I don't know, you're probably safer in your car.

MOONCHILD!

Captain Giggles, you're a racist.