I had the same problem. Apparently people who deal with tragedy by wigging the fuck out have a hard time with people who deal with tragedy by making jokes.

PASSENGER PIGEON! PASSENGER PIGEON'S BEEN EXTINCT SINCE 1912!

But you can't get beer, I don't think.

it's just a saying, dude

But that's for Bastille Day!

::eats a sandwich::

I get it!

Quit almost four years ago. Still want a cigarette every single day. It's insidious!

If the personal use involves firing said gun at an out-of-work actress's face, and then claiming she did it herself while you were holding the gun… that's, that's illegal too.

I want to slip my tubesteak to your sister. What do you want in trade?

Don't encourage your father.

Seconding the use of "what's the rumpus" as an everyday greeting.

Death is but a door, time is but a window, I'll be back.

Sure sure.

It was a documentary! Filmed in real time!

Hudsucker's great. I'll often add "not counting the mezzanine" to any discussions regarding numbers. Not enough people get it.

He's Renton.

Well…

Jim? Probably not. John Krasinski? Oh yes. And he pays them in cocaine. (And candy.)

Where's Wallace, String?