I was in that exact position 2 years ago. I ended up using a friend's address on my application so that they thought I was local. It sucks that it helped.

Nah, it was in the oven. I'm confused as shit.

I really have no idea. The kitchen smelled awesome, but the chicken just tasted so damn "meh".

My girlfriend made garlic chicken with onions and celery the other day. I didn't the heart to tell her is was just about the blandness piece of meat I've eaten in my adult life.

I really only want this job cause the pay and benefits are ridiculous. Daddy likes nice things, goddamnit!

Interviewed for a job 2 weeks ago. Absolute radio silence. I have a friend that works in that department and he said they just haven't made a decision. Fucking hell.

Ugh, he's playing on a Tuesday in my town. Maybe I'll just watch UHF again.

Interesting question: How popular is Vox compared to our own AVClub?

*Queue Jackass music*

“I thought using the [kidnapping] money to support the Nicaraguan resistance was a neat idea.” - Oliver North Dakota.

"And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood Gipper."

Wasn't that a "Kuwait-Wait Don't Tell Me" joke?

I still have a hard time believing "The Help" was a hit.

Operation Desert Storm. *riotous applause*

Played a show at my favorite bar (got drunk). In the middle of our set my ride cymbal stand falls apart and the bartenders tell our bass player he has to move his vehicle so that the food truck can park for the night. Lots of laugh and more drinking while we waited on him. Awesome night.

The correct answer.

I'd let him swim up my river to spawn.

Its return was prophesied by Big Red Nostradamus.

Tom Hardy out, Big Red No in.

Hopefully, he doesn't lego of said aspirations.