Unless you are ZMF, then drop in to the office any time. But be sure to wear a mask because, well, because we can't be sure which AV Club staffer will be playing ZMF that week.

Then Stainboy
logged onto the AV Club message boards under his screen name Zodiac Motherfucker…

Fuck off you unregistered jackass. It's quality over quantity - at least that's what your wife, girlfriend, sister and mother told me.

ZMF and James Blunt, sitting in a tree, K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes ZMF with a mouth full of splooge (again)
Just like every Saturday night.

You have to be fucking kidding me. Did ZMF really just type "THE FACT THAT HES JAMES FUCKING BLUNT"??? Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Nice one tough guy. I can see you now rolling down the streets in your 1998 Chevy Sunbird blasting You're Beautiful shouting out "OH YEAH JAMES FUCKING BLUNT!!!"
There's…

How many of you knew that ZMF had a little baby daughter?

Well at least ZMF can type swear words more convincingly than he can say them. ZMF, you say "fuck" and "shit" like a school boy uttering them for the first time in his life on the school bus in front of the rest of the JV basketball team.

With which one of the guys standing behind that blonde chick?

The most wonderful thing about this genre is that anybody can claim it as their style. Can't sing, can't play an instrument? That's fine. Call yourself noise rock and bang on random shit, scream unintelligible shit into a microphone and generally just fuck around making an annoyingly pointless cacophony and watch…

FRANK AND BEANS!!!

We are talking about Canadian girls here aren't we? Doughy snow cows? Who wants to see their thongs?

ZMF is a cock

Save the masks from Plants vs Zombies and give them to ZMF on his next visit. He needs something new to hide behind and that daisy looks about as scary as he does.

You can't unbake that loaf of bread there princess. Vomiting profanities like a drunken schoolgirl can't hide the fact that you are about as manly as a pink frilly nightgown - which ironically happens to also be your favorite choice of sleepwear.

It's basically just a bunch of "fuck" and "shit" that sounds like it's being shouted by a 14 year old girl.

He was going to call it If You're Wondering If I Don't Want You To Touch Me, Don't Touch Me but Rivers Cuomo beat him to it.

You didn't realize it at the time Wayfaerer but you were standing next to ZMF.

Now that was better. It's got that great ZMF ring to it that makes your posts so entertaining. Of course, after seeing your weak ass picture and hearing your horrendous Crank 2 commentary done in what had to be one of the worst Michael Jackson impersonation voices I've ever heard, it loses some of the toughness. …

Not bad not bad. Not as good as some of your other posts, but still…
Your point about rum is valid. However, Jamaican Voodoo Priests are most certainly not sitting around knocking back Captain Morgan spiced rum and Cokes. That candy-ass shit is usually served with tofu and a side dish of estrogen. And sure, as the…

Ha! Good one kiddo. That's the GRRRRRRR attitude we all enjoy. Always good for a laugh. Of course, it loses a bit of its sting now that we know it's coming from a scrawny little mask wearing, kiddie meal eating, tropical drink favoring goat fucker from Ohio. But still, good stuff. Can we hear some more? Tell me…