Doctor Strange: [listening to oldies radio] Oh, this is my
favorite Beach Boys song!

[Subway hobo submits video of his "performance" on platform -
vomiting in corner trash can]

R.I.P. "guy who had his last name ruined by trashy tabloid family"

*Jack White tweets that he is vibrant, young, people-person*

I remember Maude…

We're gonna make another sequel to "Every Which Way But Loose" and we're gonna make Harry Guardino pay for it!

♫…honey
Don't you know that I'm lovin' you ♫

If my grandpa wasn't already dead, I would've sworn Clint Eastwood was my grandpa

♫ [Ahh! Me so thorny!]
[Me hate you long time!] ♫

and the wood grew up to be Kristen Stewart!

It's totally worth it because they also send you a free Hulu Hoop every month!

♫ On my TV screen
Every Labor Day
Fuckin' Jerry Lewis
Make him go away

Jose Peterson… watch out for your cornhole, bud.

"Come on down to the Woodland Hills El Pollo Loco and ask for Craig!"

Baseball Owner: George, we have to make some kind of rule so there are no ties at the All-Star game.

♫ Jon Stewart of mine,
tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Jon Stewart of mine,
Take me back to the day
When you were still a golden boy
Back before you went away ♫

Some people will say that words like scum and rotten are
wrong for Objective Journalism — which is true, but they miss the point. It was the built-in blind spots of the Objective rules and dogma that allowed Trump to slither towards the White House in the first place.

I have all the best bibles. I read all the deuteronomies, and the Jobs (pronounced like Steve) and the solemns (Psalms). In fact, I probably know more about the bibles right now than anyone in the world!

When I become President, we're going to start making VCRs again. We're going to make the classiest, most luxurious VCRs in the world. We're going to make so many VCRs, you are going to get tired of watching everything on a VCR. And Mexico will pay for them.

[Re-boot of "Soylent Green" starring William Shatner and Sarah Jessica Parker]