God Is A Boob Man!

*Regis Philbin confusedly tweets résumé to America Ferrera*

DragonFruit…

I'm always the FIRST to enter these contests, but I never win




and, as always,
Second prize is a set of steak knives.

It depends on the clown…
a "Bill Murray - Quick Change" clown
or a "Jerry Lewis - The Day The Clown Cried" clown

Golden Globes, 1993

It puts the green points on its skin
or else it gets the hose again.

Her costume is made from old, moldy ShamWows!

David Lynch's "Eraserleague"

Wet Hot Japanese Summer

They don't do "dog" versions of these because it's too hard to depict a dog humping someone's leg, or licking his own balls on top of a latte

Smith's triumphant euphoria was short-lived however, when he was refused a return seat on Southwest Airlines due to his girth…

They should just paint it black and white like those old generic food packages, and call it "BOAT"

Chuck's a bad guy because he doesn't "bail" Jimmy (or anyone else) out of anything out of goodness or love or loyalty - he does things so that he can use them later to hold over someone's head or to manipulate them. Chuck seems like one of those guys who would know the exact date, time and place of every single…

If the bandages don't fit, your mummification is shit

and because of pay disparity, she has to host 11 times to equal Ben Affleck's 5 times…

He got it by "weezing a lot of fresh nugs".

Jan Michael??

"With a name like 'Clickhole', it has to be good!"

Pro Tip:
Get there many hours early because fuckin' GoFoBo always gives out way more passes than there are seats. I learned this the hard way a couple of years ago for "World War Z" and I was there 2 hours early.