My son got perfect on a book report presentation at school, which is incredible since he would usually rather take the 0 than talk in front of other people.

+++ Drown

Andy Kim - Rock Me Gently
Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Starting Something
Aretha Franklin - Who’s Zoomin’ Who?
Beatles - You Like Me Too Much
Leonard Cohen - In My Secret Life
Hum - Stars
Tragically Hip - All-Canadian Surf Club
.38 Special - Caught Up In You
Social Distortion - Ball and Chain
Tripping Daisy - I Got a Girl
The…

I'm having a plain old peanut butter sandwich. Just bread and peanut butter, like I'm 6 years old.

Well, sometimes there are fatalities…there were a few dozen fatalities at the Kunming train station attack. And sometimes there are stabbing attacks at elementary schools, and that one time someone randomly beheaded a baby on the sidewalk.

The current administration is just praying for something like that to happen in the US. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. You know, something like maybe accidentally setting the Capitol building on fire…

I still feel bad about ignoring the girl who liked me, and obsessing over the girl I liked who didn't even know or care that I existed. That was 25 years ago!

We don't like to poop in public. The real man thing to do is hold it in.

Zombies - I Want You Back Again
Mojo Nixon - My TV is Watching Me
Rhythm Heaven Megamix - Frog Hop
Sheila E. - Glamorous Life
Ben Folds Five - Fair
Hugo Montenegro - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Three Dog Night - Black and White
Beatles - It Won’t Be Long
Foo Fighters - For all the Cows
Wyclef Jean and The Rock - It Doesn’t…

We're all dying.

Reposted Lt. Broccoli Comments became sentient long ago.

Way better than Elvis Costello's version, anyway.

Well, I mean, it's early in the year, and everywhere else already has a health care plan, so it could literally be true that this is the best one of 2017.

Haha it's actually called "World's Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017" hahahahahahahaha

Mother Mother - The Drugs
LazyTown - We Are Number One
Hale and Pace - You’re Never Gonna Get This Song Out of Your Head
Tacabro - Tacata
D12 - My Band
The Beatles - Leave My Kitten Alone
Zombies - She Does Everything For Me
Alexei Sayle - Ullo John Got a New Motor
Robyn - Do You Know What It Takes
Outsiders - Time Won’t Let Me
…

You idiot! That was her stunt double!

The real question is, what does Sam Elliott think?

The plural of penis is "penes".

Alexander too!

That was the day Kennedy issued a memo asking the CIA to review UFO files. Coincidence?!