Does this guy know how to party or what?

Pete's shenanigans are cheeky and fun. Don's shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Poor people? Ewww.

When Sean Young told me to boycott the Ace Ventura sequel because Sean Young wasn't in it, I listened.

Bees?

*Pulls a club from the deck*

Only libruls deny American Spank-Fest Exceptionalism.

Only libruls deny American Spank-Fest Exceptionalism.

Pepper Jack love Fraggle Rock.

Pepper Jack love Fraggle Rock.

I think it will be a crime-fighting Thomas Edison mentoring a rag-tag group of upstarts in covering Lambda Lambda Lambda's award winning opus. However, it will be updated in the style of brass band dubstep. Because all the kids love dubstep, and NBC knows what the kids love.

I think it will be a crime-fighting Thomas Edison mentoring a rag-tag group of upstarts in covering Lambda Lambda Lambda's award winning opus. However, it will be updated in the style of brass band dubstep. Because all the kids love dubstep, and NBC knows what the kids love.

I don't think the mafia believes in time travel as much as making Joseph Gordon Levitt's face "botched-plastic-surgery-chic."

I don't think the mafia believes in time travel as much as making Joseph Gordon Levitt's face "botched-plastic-surgery-chic."

"Hello. You are here because you gave us money. Now, we will give you ribs."

I want to have Sophia Bush's babies.

In a movie filled with tragic scenes, that may have been the most tragic of them all.

I have first row seat tickets to the ass-to-ass scene.

I think you and I need to have some sort of Highlander showdown. I don't believe we can both exist in this reality.

Beep. Beep. Beep.