Speaking of LOST….

And Felicity.

Was anyone else surprised Bravo showed pubic hair?

That was far less adorkable than I was led to believe it would be.

You are correct, that would have been amazing. But for the love of all things holy, we're only human. 

Christmas Dawes is Here!

Or magic nipples?

Fuck you Fake Plastic Tree. C is for cookie.

Forgive
my shitty first.

Forgive
my shitty first.

And I'm ejecting her from Planet Abed with a…remote control…Christmas…pterodactyl!

The Cave of Failed Firsties.

No innuendo here. Simply…

"He touched my penis, with his penis!"

This first
is right there in the damn title!

People won't like it.

Fuckballs!

Tim Burton's wasted potential
makes me shed a single tear.

People definitely say negative things about The Beatles. They'll make outrageous statements about The Beatles being overrated and such.

I'm releasing my own book
of poetry about Walter Jacobson's days as a homeless person.