You're absolutely right. "Twilight" is bad in an eye-rolling, head-smacking way, but "Crash" made me want to punch God in the face.

Who the hell even associates Sean Penn with Madonna anymore?

She had the *potential* to have a dick. She's all-girl now!

I'm seein' double here! Four Christmases!

A lot of people seem to have had the same eventual infatuation with Feist. I considered her a nondescript indie pixie, but I was won over by her "I Feel It All" video and her "Sesame Street" appearance (and, yes, that "1234" video) — and now the Colbert special. She's just so disarmingly good-natured, it's pretty…

Last year, I had some kind of self-financing purchase scheme going for those then-out-of-print "Freaks and Geeks" yearbook sets. I'd buy one on eBay — usually between $220 and $310 — and then try to sell it for a small profit, hoping to obtain one in mint condition that I could keep for myself, the profits from…

The worst
I saw this movie Saturday night, because my wife is a bit of a vampire buff and because we're both lovers of the Pacific Northwest, Washington's Olympic Peninsula in particular.

I've settled on Astronaut Love Triangle.

I once got lit from the inside with some BC God Bud.

Sorry — I posted that without refreshing the page, and lexicondevil's other comment wasn't there. I, too, prefer to let the mystery be. The movie is a powerful touchstone for me, for that reason. I get the sense that we value the mystique of female sexual energy in the same way.

Thanks for reminding me of "May." It's one of the few scary movies in which sympathy for the main character only serves to make her more disturbing.

Ugh. I've got a gay friend who once hooked up with a guy who wanted him to lie in a bathtub full of ice before he had sex with him, so that his body would feel as cold as a corpse. I'll have to ask him if the dude called it a Weekend at Bernie's Two.

I felt the same way about that flat, matter-of-fact shot in "Pulse." When my wife and I saw it, we both muttered "Holy shit."

PMMJ, I have to agree with you. Before it was officially available in the U.S., I went to crazy lengths to get a bootleg of "Ringu." There's nothing I love more than creepy-scary, something that subtly tunnels into your psyche, and "Ringu" had a reputation for being "the scariest movie ever made" in that unnerving,…

He should switch it up and try black velvet.

That's why I like group sex. The laughter always sounds more pleasant when it's a chorus of derisive giggles.

I like to give out DVDs of myself having sex. It's nothing *but* ugly parts.

I predict the DVD will be the favored Secret Santa gift of "gals from work" everywhere.

I knew it! Those fuckers!

I love those radio stations with slogans like "Today's hits without the rap."