Ugh. Phil Collins is like aural cardboard.

In all seriousness, singing with Muppets gets credibility points from me.

I like James Taylor too.

John Denver
Highly underrated. Mark Kozelek's cover of "Around and Around" is a contender for my funeral song.

"Gasoline Alley" (the album in general, but especially the title song) is pretty awesome. Stewart's cover of "Handbags and Gladrags" is kick-ass too, in my opinion.

I hope this reaches a theater near me sometime soon, but I may have to ultimately settle for a DVD release. My wife and I have been so eager to see it, we recently considered driving up to Canada (we're in Michigan) for a screening, but the closest showing, as of now, is still about 250 miles away. I can't find any…

I was the only one who showed up Tuesday night at Halfhearted Park for Ralph Nader's concession speech.

So, it's a different Maria Schneider? Man, I went and got the butter for nothing.

Kitchen-counter split-kicks in boxer-briefs
Unfortunately, a handful of words that emblematically embody Van Damme in my mind, although I've never seen "Timecop" or any of his other movies.

That Bobb'e kid is palatable as long as there's some "Human Giant" (or David Wain) weirdness to play to his cocky pipsqueak-oddball talents. Best-case scenario: He grows up to be another Tracy Morgan. Worst case: He grows up to be another Jamie Foxx.

Thank you, Bizarro Harlow.

Well … uh …

Believe me, I was trying to be self-deprecating, since trying to chat up a former fling on the internet before your wife gets home ain't exactly like letting Obama's words of hope wash over you in Grant Park. And, believe me, my wife has gotten more pussy on her own than I ever will.

Let's not forget the Roger Corman-produced "Carnosaur" (featuring Clint Howard!), which slid into theaters right before "Jurassic Park." Diane Ladd plays an evil scientist who impregnates a woman with a mutant dinosaur baby and forces her to deliver it with her pantyhose still on!

Well, prior to that, after work, I returned a comforter at Target, and then I raked leaves until it got dark. That's pretty much it. I heated up the vegetarian chili I'd left in the microwave when I got preoccupied with the computer. All in all, I feel guilty about not going to the gym.

At home, watching TV, like a loser
I was online, chatting with a girl my wife and I had polyamorously dated. Then my wife came home from the gym and I pretended we were just chatting about the election.

I really like to imagine him shoved out of the front door of the White House on that bitter, gray January morning, a half-eaten bagel between his teeth, hopping as he hastily struggles to put on his shoes, in shirttails and boxers, as someone from Obama's staff throws his pants at him and slams the door. Doesn't…

Ah, yes, Mikey's stirring "This is our time" speech from "The Goonies." It gets me every time. "That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket."

Apparently I also can't help but make typos.

I've been pretty fucking cynical throughout the entirety of the election, from the primaries until now, but this whole thing has gotten to me. Over the weekend, I was listening to a CD I'd burned a long time ago, just of random songs, and Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come" was on there, and I couldn't help but get…