Looks like the Wampanoag Indian's comment got deleted, wiped out yet again by the white man. Way to go, A.V. Club.

Look, everybody: It's Burl!

I've only recently made an effort to watch "Home Movies," mainly because I wanted to hear Mitch Hedberg's voiceover work (speaking of Mitch, "Los Enchiladas!" is about on par, charm- and craftsmanship-wise, with the Sweded films in "Be Kind" — I wish somebody would release a DVD). It's a great show; I'm sorry I…

Before I left for work this morning, the "Today" show aired a segment about women who treat super-realistic baby dolls like real babies. Check it out:

Most of the contemporary artists I know of are names that I've dropped in the course of getting to know art-major girls I've wanted to have sex with. I'm a onetime art major and graphic artist myself, but I think most modern art is garbage (sometimes literally). Just about any straight man's familiarity with any…

Laymon cheerfully wrote fantastic trash with no apologies. That's one of his better books (some are outright bad), but the recommendation is based primarily on its atmosphere. The plot, such as it is, is poorly structured, but if you like the idea of walking around a Midwestern college town on a crisp, smoky fall…

I envy the kind of success "Geek Love" has had, although it may have sold well enough when it was first published. Katherine Dunn is probably not able to make a living from its royalties alone (although, from what I know about her, she's used to living hard and light), but I'm impressed that it's stayed in print…

Some typos in my post: I missed an "a" in front of "guy," and his wandering in "Night in the Lonesome October" is nocturnal. Also, in that particular book, it's possible rape by a flesh-eating *troll* — more of a gang rape, too, actually. Silly me.

Uh, I wish I could say that I could use my schlong as a defensive weapon, but unless the attacker is standing really, really close to me, it would be a lot of swings and misses. Which, admittedly, would be funny to see, so I could just punch him as he's standing there laughing.

I've never heard of this book, but I'm intrigued after learning a little about it. I don't know if it's comparable, but I loved Martin Millar's "The Good Fairies of New York."

Guilty-pleasure fall indulgences
"Something Wicked This Way Comes" by Ray Bradbury is probably the book that had the biggest impact on me as a young man, in terms of helping me define my "October country" sensibility by seeing it reflected (like a funhouse mirror, admittedly, when Bradbury's prose gets a bit too…

General recommendations
If I ever want to give a book as a gift to someone whose reading tastes I may not be familiar with, especially if it's around Christmastime, I usually give them "Time and Again" by Jack Finney. I can't imagine anyone not loving that book.

Sam & Max
I'd just like to give a nod to "Sam & Max: Freelance Police." Not as good as Steve Purcell's comics or the fantastic "Hit the Road" computer game (I can't vouch for the more recent online games), but the cartoon was pretty awesome, and they're certainly the best dog-and-rabbity-thing detective duo ever.

Darren McGavin
He played detectives in the original Mike Hammer series and a show I've never seen called "The Outsider," but if we're to include investigators who weren't quite official detectives, I submit McGavin as "Kolchak: The Night Stalker." He was a newspaper reporter, but he got the job done, damn it, and the…

I'm Amish, so I call non-Amish Americans "English," which of course doesn't apply to Indians.

Prep Heche, I thought you meant that I was acting like a sissy for not countering a verbal neck-punch, not that you assumed I literally had a vagina. Sorry, I'm a dude. I hate my screen name, especially since it became the butt of an infamous David Cross joke and since Nicole Richie gave that name to her daughter. …

I want to clap, but I cut off my own hands as penance for your impending death, and to keep myself from using the Death Touch again!

I'm only human, so I make mistakes, some of which happen to be voluntary manslaughter.

I haven't learned any new jokes since I stopped eating Laffy Taffy.

Aw, shit. I didn't know you just wanted to mess me up a little. I did the Vibrating Palm Death Touch — you never felt the blow, but a few days from now, your heart will stop. My bad.