Dear Mr. Kittenswithmittens,
Out of curiosity, that curse which ever burdens those of my sex, what exactly about the gentlemen so inspires your malignity? He seems a benign enough fellow, though over-fond of crudity. Though I am no great herald of his works, neither do I despise him with the remarkable vehemence that…

It sounds as though it was a frantic evening. I am happy to have been removed by both preference and temperament to my drawing room, where I enjoyed a quiet evening with fashion periodicals and, if I am scrupulously honest, some small amount of port.

I was told by my dear aunt at a very young age never to offer strong disagreement in the presence of men, as to do so is unwomanly. However, the same good lady also informed me that a sun-bonnet can cause a confusion of the spine, listening to a pipe organ induces pleurisy and that a voice from within her belly was…

But… but I feel entirely well! Well, perhaps my head does pulse with the dull ache that ever accompanies wakefulness in the mornings, and the eerie moments of oblivion that steal up upon me each time that strange wailing recommences from the locked rooms upstairs are never far. And I must confess I have just taken…

Indeed, they are not the most fastidious creatures, and should you make the attempt you are more than likely to soil your clothes, or so my stableboy reliably informs me.

Perhaps this trend should be viewed as positive, for it speaks to the increasingly refined tastes of the American audience. Fatigued at long last by the half-hearted efforts of the cabal of cynical would-be 'entertainers' to wrest from them hard-earned coin, they turn instead to other distractions- the theatre,…

'Otiose' refers to that which is redundant or unnecessary. One might naturally suspect that there is some connection in meaning.

…an enclosure where one's donkey might be ensconced?

Allow me to take this opportunity to beg Mr. O'Neal's forgiveness for ever having suggested that he might in fact be Irish.

Everyone do have a jolly good holiday, be it a proper Anglican gathering or some fascinating pagan ritual, such as those so adored by Catholics.

As for myself, I was educated on the grounds of my absent father's estate by a governess who eventually went quite mad. In the penultimate throes of her mental distress she quite often mistook me for my brother, and so provided me with a remarkably complete education in Latin, mathematics, metallurgy, physics,…

Could this in fact be some sort of fictional production? One hopes that it is all the result of some writer's fevered imaginings, and not the catastrophic shared mental collapse that it appears to be.

If brevity is the soul of wit, then here is our paragon.

This situation seems to require immediate intervention! These sad souls are clearly a danger to themselves. I am reminded of that sad occasion, many years past now, when my abstemious tutor, one Mrs. S., took up with a wild-eyed gentleman from tropical climes. A lapse in judgement! One day my instruction was…

The gentleman was also the intrepid Swamp Fox, if I recall correctly.

You are all far too kind to offer any sort of attention to my feckless, womanly musings, often utterly unsuited to discussions in my own era, much less that of the distant future. I in fact had occasion the other day while spooning gruel through the half-parted lips of my dear husband, felled not two months past by a…

Most importantly, it appears that he has won his liberty from Australia, having been only 'detained briefly' on that vast and dreary isle. Would that the multitude of other inhabitants be so fortunate as he.

Fetch the periodicals..! Oh, porridge.

Discussing one's demons in a humourous fashion serves to rob them of their power. But for this, life must ever be a long, slouching walk toward the inevitable, beset on all sides by fear and lamentable conduct. Of course the event is tragic, but if we allowed such tragedy to touch our very souls, then we would never…

I find it is best not even to try, and respond in a more leisurely and measured fashion. Of course, I am hobbled by a computational apparatus which lacks the generative power of the furious energy so abundant in the future. Also it is powered by a copper-banded steam boiler which has the regrettable tendency to…