Good Lord sir! Although I am certain that your words are honourably meant, I must remind you that any mention of ankles or whatnot is quite inappropriate in the presence of a married woman. True, my husband is now entirely sealed up in the western tower of the mansion, attended only by his trained orang-utan…

(Insinuates a cushion beneath Frosstbyte's head mere moments before a terrible impact might occur.)
…
(Faints dead away)

Hallo? Yes? Are there callers, Margueritte?
…
Margueritte? Where is that callow sloven. Likely as not once again absconded from her post to hobnob with the butcher's son in the village. One would have hoped that a Belgian maid might have inherited the grace of the French and avoided their fecklessness, rather than…

Oh no! The poor dear thing has collapsed! Someone, do at once fetch a revitalizing tincture. Does anyone happen to have upon their person any essence of Hartshorn? Oh, goodness, how tumult and confusion conspire against us!

Peppercorns are originally the product of India, and the splayed egg is not entirely dissimilar to the flag of Japan; that is, a circle with radiating lines on a white background. With the sanguinary influence of the Empire dispelled, a sombre yellow asserts itself in the form of cowardice's more presentable cousin,…

Oh, have chokers returned to fashion at last?

Good Lord, why would you trouble to acquire such knowledge? To what end, dear Mr. Kinowerks, to what end?

Yes, but to what end is it 'stupid'? There is a strategy at play here.

Stuff and nonsense!

One does not prefer to generalize, and this observation might be entirely based on my own admittedly outdated prejudices, but does it not appear that the popular culture produced by Japan is somewhat peculiar?

"Who among us has not committed treason to something or someone more important than a country?"
-G. Greene

Good Lord, you poor repressed creature. Are your opportunities so scant that these distractions become plausible outlets for the base urge? Perhaps you might obsessively read, revisit and then again revisit a single passage from your King James while twisting the flesh on the back of your arm to elicit discomfort…

There is no point to nihilism. That is the point of nihilism.

This sounds unpleasant, and one sees enough unpleasantness in life without inflicting it upon oneself.

I know an acquaintance who coveted rum the way a miser loves gold, and employed a smuggler, once of the Galician Shore, to acquire for them a regular quantity from various ports in the New World. This adventurer, (let us refer to him as the incautious Mr. G.) came to realize that he might acquire the much-desired…

What is your opinion of the sweet beverages? Have you attempted to drink gin without additives? You might as well fill your mouth with juniper berries and then strike your head against a wall. Also, many sweet fruits are both excellent for your health and a fine seasonal treat for all ages. Your proscription seems…

I would suspect that in addition to taste, those responsible for the creation of this curious concoction needed to apply themselves to the quality of texture. Obviously a cocoa-flavoured pastry rendered into a liquid would simply taste of cocoa. The accomplishment must therefore hinge on the buttery, heavy, flaky…

Is it simply decorative? I assumed the man was a Papist and the garment some rare species of ferraiolo. I must confess a mild suspicion of those who casually choose to drape themselves in so concealing a garment. A Mrs. R. of my acquaintance, (or more properly the acquaintance of my family) attended a certain…

My personal maid is a genius at removing stains. Honestly, it is simply uncanny. How does one extract cherry sherbet from muslin? I would suspect that she simply replaced the fabric, but with what money, for all love? And to what purpose? No, she is simply gifted beyond all reasonable expectation in this one…

Ah yes, methaqualone. It is not without some virtue as a tonic for hysteria and various minor nervous complaints, and paradoxically serves as both the cause of and cure for delirium. Sadly unavailable in my era, unless I choose to synthesize a quantity myself using the hidden laboratory I have prepared in the old…