"I thought you should know… a squirrel and a bird are having sex with each other on top of your hat."

"Well if YOU'RE here and I'M here… then who's watching the magic diamond baby!!!!?"

"I had the strangest dream … and you were stupid and I was stupid."

"Can I interest you in some Franco Brand Noodle Hooch?"

"Well shucks Dr. Meatball, I didn't know you had boomerangs for hands. Let's go upstairs."

"What do you mean you have an odd number of butt cheeks?"

"Sucka, if I wanted a double decker taco, I'd already have one."

"That's right lady, my hat is filled with 100% pure donkey poison!"

"What do you mean you've never had booger soup!?"

"Do you think the space babies got my letter? I feel so bad that they all have AIDS."

Homophobia

"So it's agreed. We will both kill and eat Superman."

So it's agreed. You'll wear the tiara and I'll wear the top hat.

"You should probably get tested."

You don't HAVE sex with a leprechaun, you rent it. Am I right?

I just don't appreciate cloaca humor.

And Jay Lucy prepares to pull the football away from another Charlie Brown.

Didn't Sons of Anarchy already do this?

80% of the puppets in that picture have already had sex with Fred Willard.

well now i don't know WHO to spank