And uncle Jack.

Ooooooooooooooo, that's a good twist. But how can she not love him?

And ultimately are found dead in the woods a few hundred yards from their house!

Of course you then need to purchase a backyard wood-fired Hot Pocket oven from Italy. It's only $6,000, so anyone can afford it. Aren't your Hot Pockets worth it?

And though there was only one pepperoni Hot Pocket, Jesus did feed the masses and there were many different flavors and yea did they feel bloated but happy.

Man, that's just terrible. Being rejected by the gym teacher when he treated everyone else like a free smorgasbord?

Ah, correction - it was a bourbon cask, so as you dissolve you'll pick up hints of vanilla and oak.

If I ever decide to just withdraw from society completely and always present myself in the most ridiculous form possible, I'll start wearing JNCOs.

The only way this would be watchable is if Wes Borland is on the show in some crazy bug-eyed getup every week. He should play Durst's attorney.

You know Colonel, your idea of making the popcorn extra salty then selling bottles of water for $7 each was pure genius.

Yeah, you know Alien Jesus, stuff like that makes me question whether you're really my savior.

Alas, an infinite number of Dursts given an infinite number of typewriters would only manage to make unbearable music and refuse to go away.

I'm sorry Sacrelicious, but the truth is you're 1000x worse than Hitler.

We should all be so lucky. And yes, Laurie Anderson is entirely awesome.

Songs for Drella is excellent.

My high school shop teacher once built a deck for Lou Reed.

You know, that's interesting. Who knows if the stuff about Lou…er, Lewis?…being abusive is true. Sucks if it is. Many of our heroes are far from saints.

Yep, I agree. More than a bit presumptuous.

"Wow, that sound is so unique. I am an A&R guy and I will sign this great band."

*shudders*
I'm not sure I'd even wish that on Durst. Well, yes I would.