Will it automatically make me a bad person if I start using that phrase? Cuz I know a few people who could do with some fucking tit-calming.

That's why I walk around town with it out all the time. You never know when you're going to need to catch somebody.

We didn't have our shit together enough to learn it (and quite frankly it was probably beyond our abilitles). I think we just sang the chorus a few times and nobody knew what we were on about.

Y'know I just realized the other day that I wear hoodies all the time but I don't think I've ever pulled the hood up. Why the hell am I dragging all that extra fabric around?

Whaaaa? Is that a thing that actually happened?

You could have that opportunity in the mid-'90s!
I played in a fucking terrible punk band for awhile and every show we played we adopted the name of a different fictitious band – we were Rainbow Lobotomy (from a Diff'rent Strokes ep) at one show, Gourmet Scum (Degrassi) for another and for one night only, The…

I have no idea what you're talking aboot.
*shifty eyes*

Flathead or more accurately, "slot" screws (a flathead actually refers to the head of the screw being flat rather than a rounded dome) are fucking terrible. The screwdriver always slips out of them and they're far more likely to become stripped (and I'm sure someone who understands physics better than I could explain…

My father-in-law always refers to it as a "star" too and it drives me crazy. That's not a star! It's a plus!

I'm just excited about Will Arnett and someone named Franklin being on a show together again.

I kinda feel like if you make it to 75, dying in a car accident is the way to go. I hope he was trying to jump a lift bridge or something!

I get what you're saying, but I think calling Sinead's SNL thing "an intense impassioned statement about something important" is being overly generous. Sure, she was intense and passionate about it, but it was kind of poorly thought out and counterproductive. It wasn't really any more nuanced than "Hey viewers of a…

I could swear I just saw him around here the other day though…

I think by the time my friends and I hit college even dating a high school senior would be a mockable offense. You were supposed to date women at that point, not girls.

That "Head On" cover was my intro to the Pixies and is still probably my favourite song of theirs, so yeah.

Huzzah to the Supersuckers!

Yeah, I get that you're probably talking about "power skating" lessons or a beginner's hockey league which is completely reasonable, it's just the phrase "hockey lessons" that tickled me.

That's the classic rivalry, but it seems to have cooled quite a bit since the Senators entered the league (I just looked it up because I knew it had been awhile and I was surprised to see that the two teams hadn't faced each other in the playoffs since 1979 – I could have sworn they met at some point in my childhood…

Yeah, I used to just knock back a few beers every night after work – I didn't usually drink enough to get drunk but I'd have at least 2 or 3 every night (and then go all out on the weekends). When I cut that out and limited myself to drinking only on weekends I quickly lost about 20 lbs without making any other…

As a Canadian I'm finding the idea of "hockey lessons" adorable.