We're gonna groove tonight, we'll make you feel all right…

You already had an elephant. His name was Stampy. You loved him.

This is indeed a disturbing universe.

He'd probably be a douche canoe—that's what Ryan Lochte'd do!

*plays 'Taps'*

So you've been missing Adam Sandler since 1995?

I've got a cousin named Janitor, who got his ass kicked every day at school.  Go with something more modern, like Waste Management Artisan.

I'm just gonna sneaker past the pun thread.

Well! That was edifying.  Thank you, Sean.

"devoted three seasons to watching Ice-T talk about his wife’s ass while his dog’s balls dangle perilously nearby"

BTO had a big hit with TCB.

Steve Jobs wishes he was half as affable. 

Two hundred and forty galaxies…. worth of pudding. Awww yeah.

I didn't know Trumbo roller-skated.

Well then you want to watch The FP except you don't really want to watch that because it's so godawful.  But yes, that's what it is: vicious gang warfare played out through Dance Dance Revolution, with the fate of a town hanging in the balance.  So fucking ludicrous.

I hear you.  Been in much the same boat myself.

*fifteen thousand screaming Tumblr girls beat @avclub-394dc8be941678fb1dcfc647005e6af6:disqus to death in Tom Hiddleston's name*

Aw, Bro.

Um, happiness is in real short supply here.  But I brought Jell-o!

You dated Lana del Ray?