@avclub-8583cd7c50cc85d47a8db2dae972cd72:disqus All the same, it's kind of tragic we got robbed of the opportunity for Shrimpy to turn into the Dick Cheney of Downton Abbey, blasting Matthew's face off during a hunting accident…

Can he last a full season before he gets offered a better job with a BCS-eligible religion?

"No, it was Putin who challenged you to a fight, not Medvedev.

How much more gold does he need to bury around his ranch?

If there's not a Kickstarter up in the next 36 hours for Shitty McShitty's Shitty Shit Shit Shit Delivery Shitter, the last lingering thread of my faith in American ingenuity will be good and truly dead.

Hey, not to worry; thanks for sticking out my verbose account to the bitter end!

Well, I should probably start by taking my own bit of responsibility for the event. It was an added-at-the-last-minute midnight show on a Saturday, after he'd done three shows a night for the previous two nights, so anyone with half a brain should've known he wouldn't be at his best, but I was on this kind of Parks &…

Get the Viagra people on the phone immediately!

I've been angry with him for a few years now, over one of the worst stand-up shows I've ever had to sit through. I know he's been concerned, so let me just say: this interview went a long way towards making us sympatico again.

@avclub-0f0d67e214f9fef69b278e3d08114da9:disqus They could end the movie by pressurizing/igniting all the gas lamps and blowing up the block.

@avclub-0f0d67e214f9fef69b278e3d08114da9:disqus You're goddamn right. Seeing Twist & Dodge have the "I don't sit in chairs as well as I used to" exchange would be a cinematic highlight in any year.

But then, they have to put aside their differences to survive, when the precinct comes under attack by a seemingly endless gang of mad ruffians!

I wonder if he'll compare himself to another civil rights leader tonight…

The Miami Vice trailer is probably one of my favorite trailers of all time. Why'd Michael Mann have to ruin it by making a full movie out of it (and then, ruin it even further with his "director's cut")?

I remember the first time I saw a trailer for Stealth - there was a titlecard that read: A ROB COHEN FILM. Simultaneously, my best friend and I shouted, "Who the fuck is Rob Cohen?" and proceeded to get yelled at by the parents of one of the bratty kids with whom we were sharing the theater.

After that picture at the top of the article, I'm having horrible visions of an all-Backstreet remake of The Outsiders. The poor universe where that happened…

"Jittery" is one of the top 10 best descriptive words of all time.

To be fair, I'd care a lot more about Mick Fleetwood if he walked around wearing his makeup from that TNG episode all the time…

That burrito is *not* settling well…

At this point, just turn one of the most nutballs Grant Morrison stories into a script and call it a day.