Being on the receiving end of 24 years of pent up sexuality was a wonderful experience. Regarding your inquiry, I have asked, but she denies. i hope she is lying.

This was filming outside my office and I took a bunch of pictures. I have never watched any of these films but I hated to hear that PW passed away. He seemed to be a good person.

As a native Tennessean, Dickel is superior to Daniels as far as Tennessee whiskey goes. It broke my heart when I discovered George Dickel is owned by a foreign company.

That almost sounded sincere. God, we guys are so gullible.

My wife is a square. She went to college at an all girl Catholic school ran by nuns in Indiana. I spent my college days sleeping with women that I don't even remember their first name. Ying and Yang, I guess.

I did the Illuminati thing for a while but the meetings kept interfering with my work schedule.

I've been over here for the last few months waiting for you in your sex chair and I don't even get a "hello"?

My wife has never smoked pot because it is "illegal". Me, on the other hand, first smoked pot because it was illegal. She promises to try it once it becomes legal in our state. I don't know where I am going with this…

Please see yourself out. There are emergency exists on either side of the aisle.

That is a reality show I would actually watch

DMV Lighting — The Original Photoshop.

When did you last check? Is this a weekly checkup or hourly?

I had someone tell me my DMV picture is more attractive then my actual face. Should I consider this a compliment?

Flagged for Snarkness.

Is Ebola still a thing?

I didn't realize we had so much in common.

I can vouch for that.

Merry Christmas to the sexiest woman on the A.V. Club from your favorite Jew (ish Brad Pitt)!

A merry, merry Christmas from your favorite Jew(ish Brad Pitt)!

Fair enough…I have just never got into vampires but I love del Toro.