I really want that calendar. So, so want.

Hey, just because I don't give a shit about racial politics and am white does not mean I think "we're all just people." I happen to base my judgements of other people on how much money they have. Rich = irredeemably evil; middle class = self-centered asshole; working class = helplessly ignorant; and poor = probably a…

Fucking Dynowarz. Robot dinosaurs was enough to sell me on it, no matter how shitty the controls.

She probably wouldn't want a black person at her funeral, anyway.

They worked on me. Still won't do the marijuana. Only alcohol, massive amounts of nicotine, amphetamines, and sweet, sweet Oxycontin.

Personally, I grew up in a pit where I had to fight for every scrap of food against viscous wolves. Somehow, I found time to get my GED, but it was mostly wolf-brawling.

I think looking to video games for moral lessons might be a bit difficult, anyway, since video games are foremost games and thus oriented towards problem-solving and goal accomplishing rather than serious reflection. Of course, most other mediums possess similar problems—movies obsess over spectacle and even most…

I always find movie violence funny, to be honest, and the more realistic it is, the funnier.

To be fair, being myself literally Jesus Christ, I prefer punk rock to metal. Of course, I'm also basically an anarcho-communist, so it comes with the territory.

"Can you, like, help me out with this?"
"What's the problem?"
"It's just, like, there's zero chickens-on-a-pulley in there."
"Zero chickens-on-a-pulley?"
"Can you just, like, stick a whole bag of chickens-on-a-pulley in there?"

Well I'll say this, Elvis did have better taste than most hillbillies. Really, he's more of a hick, and as someone with quite a few hick relatives, I'd say that while most are rather lacking in taste, there are a few that manage to shine. See: Tennessee Williams, Mark Twain, and Eudora Welty—in fact, pretty much any…

Otherwise he'd never shut up about postmodernism. Or David Foster Wallace. Jeez, print really is dead these days. I'm moving to France.

The GED is actually weighted so that 50% of high school seniors would fail it. And frankly, the people I know with GEDs are typically more intelligent than those with diplomas. Of course, my circle of acquaintances is biased towards people who don't have kids, went to college, and have nuanced opinions regarding…

"New slightly smaller Beats by Dre. They'll make you look 'Pretty Fly for a White Guy.'"

But without the fascist sensibilities. So more like Russian Futurism. Or maybe American Modernism.

I'm celebrating Thanksgiving today, so since I'll be eating dinner for some reason at 5 (Pacific time), I'm already drunk. So everything just kind of looks fuzzy to me.

It's a split kipper.

OMG the Danish are mad at us! Mobilize the National Guard and prepare for a riot in Solvang. Be careful: they might be equipped with pastries.

Wait, are you describing stoners or Republican presidential candidates?

There's also the fact that it is an entirely irrelevant point for the judge to make, seeing as how satire (which this obviously is) is constitutionally protected speech. I imagine that crossed the judge's mind, but she was like, "naw, it's funnier just to mock this idiot."