Why? Its important for the children to learn the difference between authentic heroin and horrifying Russian concoctions. Otherwise, where will they learn this? The streets?

Even Satan won't take credit for that crap. It was the Windows version that finally made a Mac user of me.

FAKE killing? Uh oh…

They also legalized abortion and faultless divorce decades before America. On the other hand, gulags. But also: free borscht.

Just buy a bag of holding, dude. They're, like, 200 GP at most.

Please. I could kick a featherweight's ass. Mostly because I cheat and would probably just run him down with my car, but you know what I say: if it works with the neighbor's cat, it works with UFC featherweight champions.

*Imagines Courtney Love fucking Billy Corgan* *Vomit rises to back of throat*

You can still get hard on opiates. It just takes forever to finish. Not that I know from experience…

Don't blame me: I voted for Chiang Kai-shek! Who was, err, actually even worse than Mao. Jesus Me, China, are you people just hopeless?

I think any radical street cred Moore ever had went out the window when he insultingly "begged" Ralph Nader not to run for president on Bill Maher's show. Yeah, because nothing says "radical non-conformist" like trying to force people into voting for one of the two largest political parties in the country, a party…

He's Ralph Bakshi's protege, so yes, he does. He's like the Mycroft Holmes of animators: What he does, he does better than anyone else, but you have to put up with some… eccentricities.

But where do the poor people go?

There seems to be a growing disconnect between the kind of "gay activists" you hear on NPR or read about in the New York Times and actual gay people. For one, most gay people don't live in million dollar houses in Malibu/ San Francisco/ Greenwich Village. It's sort of like those upper class feminists who focus on…

I don't know, racism has its place. I mean, I like the blacks and the Jews, but even I can't stand the Irish. Damn potato-eaters.

Eh, DNA is overrated. Once you give up any rational fear of death, you realize that reproduction is dumb and the species can suck a big dick. Extinction is just another word for no regrets. Go into that long, dark night the most awesome way you can, humanity: with a big nuclear war! Or a man-made black hole.…

Isn't sociopathy essential to the business sector? I mean, church, state, even the damn military allow some leeway for moral fortitude, but businesses literally exist to do one thing and one thing only: maximize profits. Expecting them to do otherwise is like putting a tiger in the crib with your baby and being…

It would be cool if the pill actually changed the organization of the brain so that more of it goes to thinking rather than to breathing or maintaining homeostasis. That way, you get a good anti-climax when the main character simultaneously suffocates and dies from a heart attack.

I love the idea that we all we have these "unused" brain parts, like some kind of neurological mothball fleet. It makes no sense, but hey, run with it, it'll be cool…

Yeah, but the gains you get from nootropics are fairly limited in real life, at least speaking from my experience of them. Also, all the brain power in the world can't help you if you don't know anything to begin with, so I think the old ways of cracking open books and studying are here to stay, however unfortunate…

Welcome to Hollywood. You can rape all the underage girls you want, so long as you have the right connections. But don't insult the Jews. That's not an anti-Semitic thing, it's just weird that the one group that will positively, absolutely destroy a career is also the religion of choice for a good chunk of the major…