That sounds like they basically trained the animals to associate human bodies with free meat. That couldn't have ended well.

What possible class would benefit from those stats? A wizard/sorcerer/cleric? Because that build would suck.

The cats aren't our pets. We are THEIR pets. They've used brain worms to make it so, Wrath of Kahn-style.

I'll pretend he meant this in a romantic, "I can't live without you" way, and not in the way everyone is interpreting it. Maybe they are just a really close couple and he legitimately can't imagine life without her. Like me and alcohol. Or me and masturbation.

Do you know how much free labor your average lawyer gives out? Or teacher, for that matter? This is the nature of our economic system. NO ONE is fairly compensated. Either you're paid too little or you're paid too much. That's capitalism.

Which is so very disappointing. Come one, AV Club: get it together!

Hearing that I'll never be Bono makes me so happy.

You forgot Skaar. And the Hulk's inbred offspring from Old Man Logan. Jesus, I read too many comic books. And then tell people I'm reading Proust. BECAUSE I'M A HYPOCRITE, OKAY!

I would literally kill for a She Hulk and Howard the Duck film directed by Sam Raimi. Why hasn't that happened yet? Especially given that weird, funny Marvel characters can have successful film franchises (a la Guardians of the Galaxy).

Dr. Doom: perpetually second best at everything.

Can't be shamed if you don't have any. I've masturbated six times today, and I only woke up three hours ago due to having stayed up all night mixing alcohol and amphetamines. Also, I have more fetishes than the Marquis de Sade and an African Witch Doctor combined. See, no shame.

Christopher Columbus wielded the most deadly weapon, to be fair: microbes. Little bastards have killed more Indians than Winston Churchill.

Thor and Harry Potter top this list… Really? Thor is the most boring Avenger (being basically a Mary Sue crossed with a dude bro). And Harry Potter has always been terrible; you think his books are good either because you were nine when you read them or because you're stupid. And the correct answer is the Green…

So what? Comedy is built on plagiarism. If it weren't for someone
plagiarizing the Honeymooners, we wouldn't have the Flintstones. If
someone hadn't ripped off Sergeant Bilko, there'd be no Top Cat.
Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum, Yogi Bear? Hah! Andy Griffith, Edward
G. Robinson, Art Carney. You take away our right…

It's stupid that women are expected to all be beautiful. That's not feminism but repackaged sexism. How about, yes, skinny women with big breasts are more physically attractive than obese women, but there is so much more to a person than physical attractiveness: things like a mind, a personality, and an ass. People…

What if you are talking about a literal whore? Is the word okay then? Because I actually did marry a whore. We have a great relationship, too.

So according to Ted Cruz, the party of William F. Buckley and the Koch Brothers—the party which openly attacks unions, single mothers, the minimum wage, trade protection, and child labor laws—represents the "working class." This from a Harvard educated rich boy.

Is that like "no homo" but for when you tell your sister you love her?

I knew it was coming, and yet I followed the link anyway. Who can resist such a bardic triumph?

I'm pretty sure those guys work for Tron Bonne.