It's funny because you're pretending you've never heard of someone who's really famous. I get jokes.

I don't know, her story could be read as "First, be a virginal God girl, then become a slut, and finally settle somewhere in the middle"

Would you rather… stab yourself in the eye or pull out your own fingernails?

"Be sure to listen to Brave and Roar on your iPod while waiting in line to see That Awkward Moment, brought to you by Pepsi."

Can there be such a thing as a "pop masterpiece"? Is "Roar" a masterpiece?

You mean "Brave", of course. Or "Roar". Either one; you've heard them both at the mall.

Oh yeah? Well MY friend has a cousin who met Uwe Boll!

Do you think Kevin had to take a long and scalding-hot shower after writing this? "So dirty, so dirty, will never be clean…"

It's ironic because Efron's presence in a movie is usually what makes watching it a tedious proposition.

"Getting a pass does not guarantee a seat to the screening, so plan on showing up early to secure a spot." I heard people are already setting up tents.

Did you hear the one about the Pollock who tried to make a movie?

It sucks that joining a union is the only way to get health insurance.

She's the ugly one, right?

That's not the point and you know it.

Poor people who aren't famous can just go ahead and die.

Millions of Americans can't afford health care, but let's help her because she's on TV.

I'd love to see Simon Pegg in a GAH movie.

"Historical Fiction" is a genre. "Comedy" is a genre. "Stories that take place on college campuses" is not.

They got binders full of black women.

I once met a woman who had one leg amputated. Her name was Eileen.