You would "have" been. ;)

It goes along with our love of white bread and "American" process cheese.

I thought he was having a panic attack or hyperventilating.

Tour Knowledge: just saying stuff on the internet doesn't make it true.

Droopy eyes and weird nose. I've never found her that attractive. In fact, she kinda looks like my avatar.

Naima looks like…
a female Predator. Still kinda hot, though.

I'm with you on Lauren. Her singing was flat and lacked the punch a song like that needs, and that dress was terrible. It was distracting and it made her look twice as large as she is. She looked like a singing zebra.

Re: J-Lo's makeup: I said to my GF "Every time the camera's on J-Lo, all I see is two big pink circles with two big green circles above them." When did it become fashionable to paint eyeshadow across the entire top of your face like a raccoon mask?

My favorite moment
As the line of girls came up on stage to hug Jakob, Ryan wisely ended the whole thing when he noticed the creepy guy who got in the line.

He looks just like Tiny Tim! They totally both have long hair!

Nice try, Sean
But you're nine days early.

Weed is better
The third time you try it.

Any movie. Just ask Jon Stewart's character from Half Baked. ON WEED?!

[80's sitcom] remake of [classic film]!!! LOL!!!!

Their girlfriends are in the basement listening to the new Chris Brown album.

He totally Rihanna'd that window!

The actress is dead, and the fictional character would now be about 100 years old. But if that's what gets you off…

WHO CARES
HEY O'NEAL SOULJA BOY'S BROTHER DIED WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THAT FRONT PAGE NEWS IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING GOING ON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW

I want sum Oakey sungasses!

Gaslight who? KC what?