If it's true that Dunkleman opted not to return, then he should have a Dunkleman voodoo doll, not a Seacrest voodoo doll.

Yeah, Ashshththon is probably gone.

Pia: the consumate professional
Not only does she always look great and sound great, but whenever they interview her, she seems really well-spoken. She says the right things, she speaks well, she never says "like" or "um". She's the complete package.

"Maybe I just see her being too all-American to pick a goddamn Canuck as her idol"
She strikes me as the kind of girl who would think that Canada is part of the U.S. Or, more likely, she doesn't even know where Shania Twain is from.

Haley looked great in that dress (my girlfriend even commented on the dress). And yes, Jacob needs a bra.

My bad. I'm an idiot. Or maybe I had suppressed my memories of Brett. But what's with your Lauren Turner obsession? Her singing was average for the show and she was the least attractive female. I couldn't find anything to like about her.

Who the hell is Brett?
Do you mean Tim?

Haley Reinhart
I'm infatuated with her. I can see how the growls and whines could be off-putting, but to me they're a turn-on. And although she may not be the "prettiest" of the bunch (that would be Pia or Julie), I find her to be the most attractive. Naima is also strangely alluring. I don't usually go for the…

Jacob Lusk
I think you're totally off-base comparing him to "Norman Gentle" and calling it a schtick. Jacob appeared 100% sincere in his performance, and he wasn't playing a character like Nick Mitchell. I loved his performance and I thought he brought the house down.

Magilla Gorilla comment part Deux
If Julie Zorrilla married Magilla Gorilla, she could hyphenate her last name and be Julie Zorrilla-Gorilla!

Thia Megia
How is that pronounced? Does it rhyme, like Magilla Gorilla? If so, it's an awesome name.

It'll take more than kissing to get that beard clean.

I disagree. I feel that fewer people need to listen to this gentleman's music.

other laws broken?
Is bestiality legal in Arkansas? And how does a pig give a handjob? Wouldn't it be more like a "hoofjob"?

Yes, but the Photoshop Shop called and they're all out of Photoshop.

He'll be doing the St. Vitus Dance.

Seriously?
You went to a cookware demonstration in a dorm room? WTF?

JLH has a nicer rack.

Like rain on your wedding day!

APOLLO KIDS LIVE TO SPIT THE REAL
I recognize those words, but have no idea what that sentence means. Do I have to be black, or a member of the urban hip-hop subculture, to understand? :(