And what is man, but a vessel by which to transcribe profound words from men's periodicals? To suppose otherwise is folly.

As if the fellow in the expensive evening-wear is going to get trapped with a mangled body. Think about it!

Mary would say that

Looks like Omar can smell what the Rock is cookin' in that photo

Hah, totally forgot she was in Grandma's Boy. Of course, that's one of the first stoner movies I actually watched stoned, so I forget most of that movie.

So if the virtuous west is now represented by Canada instead of the U.S., by my calculations, the villains will turn out to be Macedonian instead of Albanian.

Big Fan was outstanding.

As soon as he stops "giving us carrots"

This comment has everything.

[Runs out on stage, does a song and dance, boos persist, plays tuba to get crowd going again, @Dikachu:disqus  comes flying out, nose skewers wealthy dowager in front row]

Hopefully his "hiyooo" is perfectly deadpan and at normal conversational volume, too.

Apparently he must be declared, in sequence, a "servant of God", "Venerable", "Blessed", and finally, "Saint." Alternatively, he could go through four different, increasingly bright light-sabers.

Yeah, I still laughed. Amidst the broadness, some of it was spot-on, like the youth group pastor.

She was really good in Saved!. The movie itself was overly broad and got kind of preachy by the end, but she made the most of it.

Dear CC-C,

The double use of "measure" drives home your point. I think I'll fap to some sigma-finite measures tonight.

Better Homes and Gardens should add a column called "Fapping Etiquette with @avclub-0304234e5dac07d007cf06c22b3f29c4:disqus "

"Waaaauuugghhh! Oh, it's a sailboat!"

I imagine Morrissey is planning to make a huge bowl of gazpacho for the entire crowd.

No but seriously, can I have Jonah Hill on set? Huh huh huh! We're total bro-mosexuals, huh huh huh! And like, a pound of weed every day? I've always thought you guys need more Jews here, huh huh huh!