Are you serious? Because it sounds like a joke, but I would be totally into that.

I'd check it out!

I think the idea is that porn shouldn't always have the same pace. I can be into either depending on my mood, but yeah, I would like to see more options when it comes to slow movements.

Man, I wish I knew a good way to ask this without being creepy…okay, let's just say that I'm thinking that members of the AV club would be far more likely to produce the kind of literotica submissions that I'd like to read than would members of the general public. How could I find those stories in particular? Again,…

For lack of a better word: context (in video porn - this is of course something that you can readily find in written porn or even comics). Something that makes the porn more than just banging body parts together until God sends the locusts. I'd love it if there was more porn out there with plots and themes and…

Friend, I would sincerely love to explore this further with you. No sarcasm - I think I would learn something. I mean, "children are, in many objective ways, a joy not found in anything else" - I can accept the hell out of that, but it also fits right in with "avoiding pain and maximizing pleasure".

My wife has been traveling for the past week and a half and we're going to remain apart for about two weeks more. What fun and cute things can I do to show my affection, and ensure that when we do meet up in two weeks we fuck like bonobos first thing?

Armando meant to say "Webelos". The boyfriend is just about to graduate from cub scouts.

How much time do you have? Because there's so many I could name. Other folks have brought up gendered expectations, which would be near the top of my list, so let me float another that may or may not resonate with some folks.

"Immense, grotesque and overwhelming without actually being useful."

Yeah, I don't know where that whole rodent thing came from - you'll have to ask ol' Dungeonmaster himself about that one.

I'm meeting so many biology-y people today!

That's fair, and a better way to do science, but I love those names, dammit!

Everyone knows that gnomes didn't evolve. They were created when Garl Glittergold descended into a magical cavern and breathed upon the gems he found therein, setting free the gnome spirits inside. #teachthegnometroversy

Upvoted out of sadness :(

Man, you ain't kidding. And I don't need to tell you about viruses either. I don't keep up with bacterial biology nearly as much as I should, but my understanding is that folks are slowly (or in some cases not so slowly) coming around the idea that any kind of hierarchical classification - even forgetting about…

Well, I found your piece very interesting, so keep on being this kind of gauche or inappropriate (your avatar suggests you have multiple other modes ready to go)!

And what of the rights of a Seth Brundle?

I love thinking about whether we'd consider extinct hominids as people, were they still alive or were we to meet one today - at one point does "man, that weird ape's almost like a person!" bleed into "man, that person's an awful lot like an ape"? But then I think about how Homo sapiens would treat the other hominid…

Heck, sometimes I wonder if many animals are even happy in their natural habitat. Happier than captivity, probably. But I can't help thinking that there's somewhere else they'd rather be. If I may: