Are you being sarcastic, dude?

Yeah - if chimps really are "evil" (as opposed to just "terrifying"), then that strengthens the argument that they're people. They'd just be evil people. Which seem about right to me. And you could add a few other primates to that list as well. I'm not a primatologist, but I know quite a few, and have heard…

Yup, it's the second. Sorry for running long there, but I so rarely get a chance to use my superpowers on the boards. The switch to Homo troglodytes* would be purely rhetorical and meaningless from any analytical standpoint. And you're welcome!

Evolutionary biologist here. There are no hard and fast rules for determining whether closely-related species belong in the same genus or not. It basically comes down to the discretion of the taxonomist (the person doing the classifying) and tradition within that particular group of organisms. The conventions for…

Not sure if you'll see this, it's coming so late after your question, but:

*Checks voting records, history of slaveholding, educational statistics, number of creation museums and evolution-denying cave tours, illegal drug use stats, teenage pregnancy rates, one's own experiences in both places…*

Wait, the Jumpin' Jalopies are gone!?!

Just go on a beautiful Ohio September weekday!

I don't know that I love anything better than all that air time on the Millennium Force, but the Maverick is the only coaster that has truly given me the feeling that I'm riding something over a fucking cliff. Love the Gatekeeper too.

Yeah - the Dragster was kind of a letdown to me and I usually don't bother to ride it when I'm at Cedar Point. The Millennium Force really is the way to go - a true work of art. Never been to Magic Mountain, unfortunately.

Again, something really unparalleled among coasters so far as I know. You really are escaping known realities when you get to the second one.

But then you have to pretend you're in Kentucky, which is honestly worse. I say this as someone from Kentucky.

My childhood theme park! Loved going there, though I haven't been in a while. And the Beast is still in a class of its own.

I'm a little surprised that you haven't been able to find softcore to buy for someone. Have you tried just looking on amazon or some such?

Half a week, perhaps. I was pretty anxious to even try, being afraid that going too soon would cause spermless semen to fountain out of the healing but tender hole in my scrotum. That didn't happen, though.

I am so sorry to hear about that, Cookie. That's a terrible thing to happen to such a fine person/monster. Upvoted out of sympathy.

I have. The recovery period wasn't bad at all (I was basically in for the procedure on a Friday, drove myself home and convalesced all weekend, and was back to work on Monday). The procedure itself was also relatively painless (heck, I watched most of mine, but I am perhaps an outlier in wanting to do so).

"I was pre-khakis commercial and don't you forget it!"

You're a good friend, especially for forging through Disqus' terrible constraints.