He could at least rent a storage locker.

Sure. Why stay?

It's just more of the same old shit.

Was it vodka?

Norton can't account for his whereabouts on Christmas Day, 1996!

Hillary cooked the books, obviously, but don't expect any election fraud investigation, because they'll all in her large back pocket, too!

God, huh? Well, what you say is no different than what thousands of other people — including Biblical prophets — have claimed over the years, so that's proof enough for me.

Bark them out!

He looks a lot like Brent Spiner in the above photos.

Agreed. He's a bit on the sub-human side. Although there is a market for that.

Hah. So 2010s!

You can't prove that she didn't kill her.

I thought they were the Car Talk guys!

That's AV Club's liability.

Please murder your unwanted children before the third trimester, as Jesus intended.

Sit at your computer in your underwear. Record yourself talking about a lot of crap. Invite some comedians you know to come over and be funny for "free" (for promotional value). Upload it to the World Wide Web. Cash that big check.

It's also not like it has to be on a particular schedule, either. Just — whenever.

Those private jets are hard to give up.

I don't live in a dorm room, so no thanks.

Buttafuoco!