Guy Ritchie's invite should be immediately rescinded, you think they would have higher standards than admitting a man who married Madonna and made a movie with her.

Hell, they are letting Lou Ferrigno in.

Your wife!?! I thought that was your mom!! I'm so sorry.

You, good sir, have insulted spam…which I did not believe to be possible until today.

And yet Nickelodeon continues to refuse to acknowledge, much less take responsibility for, the cancer and birth defects caused by that cheap, carcinogenic green slime.

Hey, kids, want to hear Gumby tell you a Christmas story? Then gather around and keep your damn mouths shut! Come on, it's Christmastime.

The Golden Arcs is a sign of quality.

It's like a giant magnet for bears.

Because it is not sponsored by McDonald's (it may help to reread the post, Gentle Herpes is rarely this witty)

Listen, strange women serving as borough presidents distributin' keys to the city is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate
from the masses, not from some farcical ceremony.

Ansel? Ansel?? Ansel?

Tom Cruise, Pauly Shore and Pia Zadora! Together at last!

Who?
-The Commentariat

Avoid him like the plague?

There Will Be Taffeta.

There is an old PJ O'Rourke article (I will try to find a link) where he visited East Berlin in the 80's. He had to convert all of his money into East German marks (at an exchange rate that was not even close to market), but couldn't find anything to buy. Before heading back to West Berlin, he threw the rest of his…

Ted Striker?

At least he is now back in the USA, where the NSA, FBI, CIA, NFL, MLB, NHL and NCAA definitely do not record your calls, access your email or otherwise violate your privacy in any manner whatsoever.

Gee, that has never happened in Russia before. The guys at the Seventh Directorate were probably just happy Colbert was not a piss fetishist.

Yowza!
http://gph.is/18A1CWZ