"Silly woman-man animal."

Maryanne Faithfull would agree with you.

"And how do we begin to covet?"

As long as you're happy.

Good thing you got out before the scoops showed up.

Couldn't you just eat your hat like a normal person?

Don't make fun of Donald Trump's dick. It's YUUUUGE.

She should have said, "It looks like a dick, but smaller."

The word "consensual" makes all the difference. Children and animals can't consent, but try explaining the difference to a right wing talk show host.

You should finish writing that letter to Jodie Foster first.

So, they're talking about perversion like it's a bad thing?

"Therapy? No! That's too expensive! Just don't do it anymore!"

Just pointing out that Garfield used to be funny back in the 80's.

Looks like the AV Club got pwned!

Or better still, "Kiss these goodbye."

"If that's true, why haven't I seen huge crowds of Scotsmen protesting outside McDonald's?"

Are you sure you didn't just drive home with it sitting at an angle on your car seat? The contents have a way of shifting/oozing out of place.

Pussycat Dolls

"Okay-put on the sunglasses, or start eating that trash can."

By "lotion," you mean "lube," right?