I want a gun so I can compensate for my incredibly tiny penis.

Didn't there used to be a guy here with the username "Hell Toupee?" Whatever happened to him?

Homina homina homina

It depends on how you twist it.

"Stretched," hehe

Call me "Snake."

The same thing happened in "Christine."

So, you're saying that anyone who pays good money to see this movie will get…taken?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Procrastinating? Well, you just wait…

Just don't start complaining about serial killers who only kill other serial killers who only kill other serial killers.

@Dictatortot:disqus "Holding up our end," hehe.

Isn't niju Japanese for "twenty?"

I thought that was "Prince Albert in a Can."

His pen_is what they're talking about.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar…

You have achieved immortality.

@Saturday Night Palsy: I thought that was real leather.

But it's still funny.

I can understand Mark Hamill going to the Dark Side. They have cookies.