And they were in the Adult section.

I detect masturbatory overtones…

Are you sure you sawed what you think you sawed?

reasonably priced hat?

They're saying "pervert" like it's a bad thing.

That explains all those porn links…

"Holy shit! Man lands on fucking Mars!"
(With apologies to The Onion)

"It may choke Artie, but it ain't gonna choke me."
(Heard that on The Little Rascals)

"To Serve Man"

Can you say Evan Spiliotopoulos four times real fast?

Maybe you're thinking of Ken Ham.

Nip-nip-nip it in the bud!

Don't eat that. It's full of toxic chemicals that will turn you into a hideous, rampaging mutant.

"Naggers?"

"Bjorn again: An army of me"

The Bourne Losers.

Best.
Comment.
EVER.

To adapt another Mark Twain quote, "Kanye's music is much better than it sounds."

Kuro burger? More like kuru burger, amirite?

I really need to find a nut market to exploit.