If this is wrong, I don't want to be wrong!

Lindsay Lohan is really making a comeback this time!

Is this a six-figure advance? If not, I won't kill you.

Paw Datt (Ass)

:(

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM IN CAPTAIN AMERICA

Thanks for preemptively answering HOW ABOUT IN DOG YEARS so nobody had to ask it.

I got the opposite: an old lady who thought I was her doctor and she left me a 15-minute messaging detailing every bowel movement she'd had for the past week. This was on my work voicemail. I did not work at a doctor's office.

*cocks Vera*

Plus they were prisoners in the Elvenking's halls for, what, three whole minutes? HAT SMASH

We out-cool you, you out-hot us, it all works out in the end!

Not as jealous as MY aunt's spaceshipbuilding club.

They also took out the fun parts, like anything involving Beorn or those ri-goddamn-diculous Elves frolicking and singing.

The barrel scene was 197 minutes of pure shitty CGI. It was fucking awful.

Someone suggested that Lupita will play the ruler of the universe. I choose to believe this, and have also decided that her life partner, Gwedoline Christie, happens to be a Jedi and they're basically the powerfulest lesbian power couple ever.

They're hard to train (walnut brain, you know) but it's worth the effort.

Hopefully Alan Tudyk will be shirtless the whole time.

The dildophasaurus is featured in the less family-friendly section of the park.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

CHRIS PRATT + DINOSAURS!?