In 1998 I was 12.

Could you repeat that? I couldn't hear you over my AOL connection screech.

There's only a tiny amount of gasoline in it, otherwise it would never freeze!

FUCK YOU CILANTRO, YOU'RE THE WORST. However, I had strawberry-lavender ice cream at a lavender farm this summer and it was delicious.

Sex Panther.

"A Whale's Vagina" should come in one of those giant whale pail buckets.

You look dry.

Ah, the ol' pull-out method. Thank goodness it doesn't work, because I missed you.

I was wondering what you were doing on last week's TI !

Well, he did knock up [REDACTED]…

It's not really a career "choice," it's more a career "option that is thrown at you when you are skipping town so you don't get arrested in a huge meth bust."

Wait, is Connor above or below Pete Campbell on this scale?

Dads

Now I'm picturing this: http://www.manningface.com/

Did you see the therapy pool? They flipped the bitch!

mmm…Taylor Kitsch

#2 falls under "be CBS."

I almost reflexively downvoted you because that's such a depressing attitude (from them, not you, obviously) but I managed to stop myself.

I fucked Ted.

Have an A-1 day!