"Will you go to the prom with me? Upvote for yes, downvote for no"

frown

ABC wants to cast Tim Tebow as the star.

Spike Lee just tweeted a trout's home address.

You put the "cruel" in "cruelcumber"!

At least this time it's an employee and not some rando from off the street.

Why did you have for lunch? And what are you wearing?

Why doesn't NBC just pick up every pilot, air ten episodes of every show, and then cancel every show after that? It might be as effective as whatever their current "strategy" is.

I was just kidding, Make-A-Wish kids could write waaaaay better songs than that.

"Roar" has such horrible lyrics and meter that it sounds like a five-year-old improvised a song. I'm embarrassed on Katy Perry's behalf whenever I hear it pop up on the radio. If a Make-A-Wish kid wrote a song and asked Katy Perry to sing it, then it might be excusable.

Yeah, it really rectum.

fuckity fuck fuck fuck

I really thought this was going to say he rented out the Sydney Opera House to propose to his dumb girlfriend rather than to host his Oscar party but oh well.

I would like to know two things.

JUSTIN WAS NOT A BACKSTREET BOY GODDAMMIT AL YOU SONOFABITCH

I take it their names will be Troy and Abed.

I can't decide whether I hope your son is 4, or 24.

That actually sounds GREAT. There is so much "how not to get raped" stuff out there, it's good to see that SOMEONE is actually saying "Don't rape."

My mom named the groundhog in her backyard "Wallace." So every time I'm there I said "Where's Wallace!?"

Oh man, last year at the Columbus Zoo I saw some enormous fruit bats, their bodies were probably a foot long, and they were pooping. I had never seen bat poop before, but they would flip upside down (rightside up? They would hold the bars with their claws and have their heads above their butts) and then squirt guano…