You and Scrawler would get in a brawl to be first in line. I really don't know who to put my money on.

This made me very sad.

Randall Simon. Thanks for reminding me of his existence. *chortles*

Don't ever use "taint" and "AJ Pierzynski" in the same comment again, please. I just ate lunch.

They're called Little Penguins, but they were formerly known as "Fairy Penguins" which was apparently too gay.

The AV Club

Thrace, have I told you about seeing wild penguins in Australia and the parking lot had a sign that said to check under your vehicles for penguins?

I would have a wallaby. I fucking love wallabies.

Just the tips

At first I was going to say "LOL Kim isn't going to spend the rest of her life with him" but then I saw that part about "vow to" so you're ok.

UGH what a terrible, terrible song.

I'm having chicken noodle soup but I don't know what the weather is like because my desk faces away from my window.

I can't think of a song that sums up the Kardashian brand more succinctly than "Young and Beautiful."

I bet it looked soft.

I read the first sentence and, were I a cat, I'd have pinned my ears back and snarled at you.

Absolutely.

Classic Poe

"arm" lol

No comment on my summer job before heading off to college in 2004.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not hire a friend to travel both
And be one commenter, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.