But all I needed was a knife!

They played about 5 or 6 songs from "Book of Souls," their latest album. Fortunately, two of those are actually pretty good, in my opinion. But they checked off a lot of the big ones like "The Trooper," "Powerslave," "The Number of the Beast," "Wasted Years," "Fear of the Dark" and "Iron Maiden." They skipped "Run to…

I've found with gas grills you'll often have hot and cool spots. If you can figure out where those are you can avoid burning or undercooking stuff by moving it around. Also, experimenting with the temp controls a bit can help, leaving it on high for searing stuff like steak and turning it down to low or medium for…

On the 4th of July I made myself venison tenderloin with a whiskey cream sauce. I grilled the tenderloin nice and medium rare. The sauce started with sauteed onions and mushrooms, then I added some whiskey (which was a bit cheap shit and a bit cherry bourbon some friends gave me). Then added beef broth and reduced,…

In KC last night? I was there, and typed almost the same thing at the exact same time!

I finally saw Iron Maiden last night in Kansas City after wanting to see them for years. It was a fantastic show, they played for about two hours with all the professionalism you'd expect from those guys, plus lots of theatrics and surprisingly athletic for a bunch of old guys. They hit a lot of my favorites,…

"Hawaii" by James Michener. It's his historical fiction novel about the islands all the way from their geological formation over millions of years to the first human inhabitants and acceptance into the U.S. through the mid 20th century. It's the first of his books I've read and I'm really enjoying it, and it also…

I'M SICK OF THE HIGH HAT!!!

How is that sheriff supposed to suck anybody off when his head is clear off the side of his shoulder?

And they did it with expert timing!

#WhovianNeverSleeps

Do you remember getting hit in the penis playing dodgeball? If not, you were never in elementary school gym class.

Or Jerry Lee Lewis in Tennessee.

Missouri is a weird goddamn place.

What the hell is a sneeper?

It's people who bet on Apollo Creed.

Can you photoshop the dick in, or does it have to be genuine? I bet the Vatican has some pretty sharp-eyed Cardinals or somebody to ferret out the fake dick in mouth pics.

Nothing can incite me to violence faster than Shania fucking Twain. Goddamn, I hate that shit.

One of the stalls in my freshman dorm bathroom had graffiti informing all shitters that some guy whose name I don't remember "fingerbangs female gorillas."

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