The Defensive Coordinator's Advocate

30 Helens agree Bill Cosby raped at least 59 women.

As Dave Chappelle said: Even if he'd committed 35 fewer rapes, that's still two dozen rapes!

I didn't get in because I spelled Yale with a 6.

But he continued the joke to say "They were dancing and Porky got a hardon. Hey, why do you think they call him Porky?" Which of course, all added to it.

I could never keep from laughing when she specified it was a little white baby that she sold.

Porn actresses are known for their ability to fit a whole lotta pipe.

Pleasure on the nose? Are we talking about Dikachu here?

Storms are a good time to tidy up the ol' pubic mound.

Don't you guys get hit by hurricanes every once in a while, at least on the coast? And what's all this about humidity throwing cars? 'Round here the humidity just suffocates you and beats you down until your will to live is completely broken.

Sure it gets hotter than fuck here in the summer and colder than shit in the winter. Plus we have tornadoes, and we're even starting to get earthquakes, thanks to fracking. But where do you live where the weather doesn't suck from time to time, San Diego?

Sold!

My wife recently admitted she enjoys watching me mow the lawn. I was a bit surprised by this, and now I'm wondering how many covert photos she's taken of me and if I should start mowing with my shirt off.

Come to think of it, my privacy fence has kept tornadoes out of my yard too. And I live in Kansas where tornadoes happen all the goddamn time.

Put it in H!

What the hell is going on with their yard? Why is there a privacy fence abutting a wide open field? Are they the only house in a new subdivision? Is their yard as yellow as the field in the background? If so, why bother mowing?

Going the wrong way? How would we know where he's going?

I thought you meant Maverick bars, as in drinking establishments. And thought, maybe they're not Top Gun themed, but I'm pretty sure there are still gay bars.

Why can't we just let him be?

Top Gun 2: A Cargo Plane Full of Rubber Dog Shit out of Hong Kong Drift.