Fellow Kansas guy here, and agreed with your Boulevard assessments, even though Tank 7 isn't one of my personal favorites (my wife loves it, though). That's cool to hear about the European connection, I had no idea.

Same here. I've tried a pint or two in bars, and they're perfectly fine beers, but there's no way I'm paying $15 for a six pack. Plus Founder's Brewing out of Michigan has had a sale recently where you can get a 15 pack of cans for $17. That's a damn good price for a good beer.

*Adopts terrible, stereotypical German accent*

Boulevard makes a ton of good stuff. They're based in Kansas City, but have fairly wide distribution in the middle of the country, I believe. If you're ever in the area it's definitely worth trying.

Touche.

Oh, he filled a LOT of niches, alright.

When I worked on my college newspaper years ago, the local Pizza Hut paid for their ad by giving us a bunch of free pizza every week. If I'd known we could've got coke with it, those late nights in the paper office would've been much more awesome.

That sounds like what would happen if Bob Belcher took over Jimmy Pesto's.

Follow up question: Are the pizza adjacent steroids how his forehead got so huge and his voice got so stupid?

You'd have to be a dope to not want olives at all.

Worth it. Life itself is slow death.

Upvoted for the Papa John's slam. Downvoted for olive blasphemy.

An old friend of mine drove an ice cream truck in Chicago. I doubt he sold any drugs, but that guy fucking HATED kids. I'm surprised he didn't run over any children in that job.

And what kind of coke connoisseur can make four purchases last six months?

No joke, just last week a local pizza place in Topeka, KS was busted for being a meth front. Now I'm wondering how many times I could've scored drugs when ordering a pizza if I'd only known how to ask.

Papa John's pizza pretty much already is murder.

If you just sit around trying to spell words all day, or posting on the AV Club all day in our case, your muscles will atrophy.

My guess is that people are adding it to the end of whatever kink they're searching for like "MIFL Porm" or something. Which is still unnecessary, but for whatever reason I can see people doing that.

I think that's what Ted Nugent jerks off to.

That's when people strap into those dildo machines like George Clooney was building in "Burn After Reading," right?