He'd pop faster if it was from behind, but I feel it's important to make eye contact.

When he asked Emmet's wife gave away his Englishness, I was hoping she'd say "you're nasty goddamn teeth."

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife is pretty good advice when it comes to Linkin Park exposure.

The next person who says Bennington's is gettin' pistol whipped!

Maybe they didn't mean to treat yo oh so bad.

You tried so hard.

How could a movie with Norm, Dave Chapelle and Danny DeVito but anything but riotously funny? I seem to remember liking it at the time, but I also haven't gone back to watch it in almost 20 years, unlike Dirty Work.

Doing a movie with Carrot Top didn't really help her movie career either.

Even the teachers are only pretending they've read "Moby Dick."

I was more miffed that he didn't get Edward James Olmos was in "Stand and Deliver." Come on, you're a goddamn math teacher! I think at least half of all the math teachers I ever had showed us that movie.

That would be a legitimately great dog name.

As a resident of Louisville, my dog is named KFC Yum!

Cookie Kwan would be good if you live on the west side.

Did they spell the dogg's name with two GGs too? Are you sure they weren't just saying "dogg?"

I was under the impression that was the sound of the men working on the chain gaaaaaaaaang.

I can't speak for all county jails, but I'd rather spend a year in the ones I've been in than in an actual prison.

I don't want to live in a country where he isn't.

Is there any chance of extensions to her sentence?

If Jesus and John Waters can't figure out how to watch TV, what the hell chance do the rest of us have?

That was Amanda Knox. Another pretty white lady accused of murder, but I think that one got so much attention because it happened in Italy, so the narrative was something like "Hot American accused of murder sex cult" or some such shit.