And he was right.

I saw that video, or at least one like it, in my college biology class. The same one went on to show a baby being born and the vaginal stretching that went along with it. Pretty much all of the guys uttered a loud shriek and turned from the screen at that scene.

No. But you know who is? Weird Al. And that's all you need.

Appropriate at a gang bang. Unless it has racial connotations.

If you're not sure something is fattening, just rub it against a piece of paper. If it turns clear, that's your window to weight gain!

Hey, I'm a guy! That means she's pleased with the coitus I'm currently doling out!!!

Avatar/comment synergy right here.

Or she could have her own line of an established diet food *adopts stereotypical Italian accent, makes assorted hand gestures* "Lena Cuisine-a."

Don't forget C) Actually get some physical activity once in a while.

I believe you mean "The Novel Push by Sapphire." From what I've read, the novel push by Sapphire was the basis for the film "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire," although I have neither seen "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" nor read The Novel Push by Sapphire, upon which the aforementioned…

You should just watch UHF instead.

No way you saw The Village People!

No one ever said Cheney looks great, even mistakenly.

I know it was your first gig and all, but it would've been super rock and roll to throw a guitar through the screen.

Not a big gin fan, but my favorite thing about it is this: I once had the chance to interview Neil Hamburger and asked him if there was one thing he missed and wished he could get again. I asked because the interview revolved around his new album at the time "First of Dismay," which featured a song about nickel candy…

They're not twins. That's been established. Emmet, the curly haired one, is the older brother.

I met Susan on Facebook. She was sooo hot. But then she turned out to be a Nigerian man. Who wanted money.

Was I the only one who thought Ralphie Wiggum voiced the robot?

That's a cookie. This isn't the '50s. Kids are doing meth and banging each other by kindergarten! We're Chemical Toilet!

Can't we just be honest and call it all elevator music?