I have a friend who can play all of this guy's songs. He's a real Kenny G Whiz.

Yeah, I guessed Chester A. Arthur, because of the A thing. Which then made me think of Howlin' Wolf, whose real name was Chester Arthur Burnett, in honor of Chester A. Arthur, so not a total loss.

Who is Sir Ticketmaster? Those assholes spring to mind as a synonym for ticket handling fees.

She actually married Hager the Horrible.

I would imagine they have versions of Dr. Strangelove with subtitles in many, many languages.

Who was the third contestant, if anyone? And who did Vanna's job, if anyone? Who won? Do Pat, Vanna and Alex all spin right-handed? Was it during the era when the puzzle solvers had to spend their winnings on shitty prizes before moving on to the next puzzle?

The ones that prohibit shell fish kind of do by technicality.

I'm expecting somebody to show up any minute and insist the place Arby's keeps its sauce is actually a sauce hold.

I might try one just for the halibut.

How much fuck Filet-O-Fish?

From a gang called Popes with Antics?

He also said Dan Quayle was stupid, full of shit and fuckin' nuts. Imagine what he'd think of a president like this orange fuckstick.

Is Duterte genuinely stupid like Trump, though? He's undoubtedly evil, but I don't know enough about him to say if he's approaching those levels of stupidity. Note: I'm absolutely not defending him, either.

The politics of failure have failed. We must make them work again.

Tony Cox was in "Friday" and has a scene where he chases Bernie Mac's preacher character out of his house when he finds him there banging his wife. And he played a genius limo driver who knocked up Jim Carrey's wife in "Me, Myself and Irene."

♬Show me the way to the next little girl/
Oh, don't ask why, oh, don't ask why ♬

I actually shot a golf ball once. It wasn't flying at the time, but here's a cool story bro: One day in the summer when I was in college, me and a bunch of friends loaded up my car with all the guns they owned and filled a cooler full of beer. We drove out in the country and did a bunch of shooting and drinking. At…

A friend of mine once told me her husband knew only one phrase in German and it was that one. Apparently he didn't tell her it was a movie reference, and she thought that was really creepy. It is creepy in a way, but I also thought it was funny he never told his wife of all people why he knows that, of all possible…

So you're saying some cancers just might be worth it.

If boners last more than four hours, call more ladies!